Dear mom of Colicky Baby,
I see you.
I see you in the grocery store trying to hurry before the baby wakes up.
I see you nervously and quickly scanning the aisle to make sure you got what you needed to feed your family.
I know you didnt want me to see you but I only noticed you because I was there. The first thing I want you to do is go pour yourself a glass of wine. Its 10:30 in the morning? Your point is…? I dont actually give a rats behind. Listen. You have a baby with colic. Go pour yourself a glass of wine. Just do it. You deserve so much more than that but this is something you can do for relief NOW!
Are you feeling a little let-down?
Where is this blissful newborn stage you hear about, when they sleep all day? NOBODY around here is getting valuable sleep. Oh great mrs. perfect-baby over there flaunting how she has her baby sleeping all night the day they brought him home from the hospital… and here I just remembered I hadnt brushed my teeth in 5 days…sigh…
Lets talk about what your day is like. Take a big breath and Write me in the comments. I want to hear you and how you are.
I feel you.
I can empathize with you. My first born was colicky. You probably havent showered in a week, right? Yeah I couldnt remember the last time I did either. How about eating? I know your baby has been screaming but sweetie you need to eat something whether you are breast feeding or not. Try a couple scoops of peanut butter even. You will pass out if you dont! You are doing such an awesome job. Look at you! Putting your new baby ahead of yourself.
I can remember being home from the hospital the first day. Hubby goes back to work and you are alone…Scream scream scream. No one to hold the baby while you shower, eat, or sleep. You finally get the baby to sleep and you go to lay him down… so gently…so softly…yes you are finally going to get your moment to rest…BAM WAKES CRIES SCREAMS…Ugh…to start all over again. It never ends.
Not everyone understands
Something moms of normal babys dont understand is this. The crying NEVER stops. How can the baby have that much energy!? I know you dont and neither did I 2 years ago. The physical drainage you feel is unlike I have ever felt in my whole life. Forget labor. COLIC IS TIRING! Want to get instantly mad by one simple question you are bound to be asked?
“Why dont you sleep when the baby sleeps?”
Oh. My. God. Please no. They did not. Do they not understand your baby doesnt sleep? Im talking real sleep. Not the pretend 30 minute nap here and there. Also- Whos going to do those dishes or mop the floor? Not to mention you havent eaten in days! When my baby cried I remember I couldnt actually chew my food from anxiety. Im sure you are in the same boat.
What is colic?
Colic is defined with the 3 rule.
- 3+ hours of crying
- 3+ days a week
- 3+ weeks
Then supposedly ends at 3 months. With mine it was 4.
It gets better…Sooo much better
One thing you can look forward to is this…It lasts a max of 4 months and if it doesnt clear up then theres something else totally wrong. Im sorry honey but you are going to be on the grind for awhile.
It will get better and when you get that ONE day that its silent… you might not even know what to do with yourself! I remember checking my phone thinking something was wrong and that I was missing something. NOPE! Just my baby stopped screaming her eyes out for the first time since she was pulled out of my uterus!
My mantra was this, and I would say it out loud to my hubby when he would be confused about the endless days of crying…
“The more she cries now the less she will cry later.”
Now this may not be true, but I was losing it. I pictured a jar with little pieces of purple paper in it with the word COLIC written on it. Each time she went into a purple crying spell I mentally removed one from the jar and said one less time for crying in the future. This is what kept me going.
Does my baby have colic?
I denied it to the death the first 3 weeks. NO NO NO I do not have a colicky child. My mother looked at me anxiously as we wait in the pediatricians office, not understanding why she was crying…I remember the look. ugh. NO oh my god I do not want to go back there. My mom had 3 kids and she was still just so confused why she was crying NON-STOP! Oh god… ugh. I went in and of course she was screaming. The doctor whom I love so much (she was awesome) came in, and said “Oh god. Lets see whats going on here.” And I remember after a series of questions she asked that sad sad look on her face when she said it…The dreaded words… *closes lap top*
“Sweetie…She has colic. Im so sorry this is very unfortunate. Remember she is not crying to punish you. When you get overhwelmed, set her in a safe place like her crib and step out the door for 30 seconds to come back down to earth. Do not shake your baby, you are a good mom and some of the best moms end up shaking their babys. Give yourself a time out. Remember to breathe and close your eyes for a minute.” Then she wrote me a note for some good wine to get.
Now that its all done
I didnt leave my home for the whole 4 months pretty much. To get groceries and that was it. The whole time I got groceries she would scream to death and the whole way home too. She grew out of it and now is such a happy super independent child. In a way I really do believe my old mantra. She brightens up the room with her smiles and Everything is peachy. I had another baby when she was 18 months old and she turned out totally normal. It was the biggest relief of my life! Do not let the fear of colic prevent you from having more children. The chances of them having it are slim and it only lasts a small amount of time…yeah I say that now that Im not going through it… See my post on How to combat Colic.
Mom of an ex-colicky baby