Okay lets address it. Have you ever had mom guilt? Chances are if you have kids and you are a mom you definitely have felt it before.
Why do we feel mom guilt? What is this purpose? Is it supposed to make us keep trying our best?
Whatever the reason is mom guilt just plain ole SUCKS. When I felt it most was when I got pregnant for my second child. My oldest daughter was only about 11 months old at the time. She was running around and thriving and happy and I had zero energy to play with her. I sat on the couch watching her play remembering how I felt before I had children and how I always said I would be That mom that played with their children and help them develop a big imagination. But when I was pregnant I was so tired I could barely harvest enough energy to get up with my toddler in the morning. Why did I feel this way?
Was I disappointed with the way I parented? Was I unhappy with being a mom? What is wrong with me? Why cant I look like this mom?
Mom guilt alert
-I felt it over leaving my kids with my mom while I went to the grocery store and saw other moms have their kids in the store. Why couldn’t I do that? Why was it so hard for me?
-I called my mom over every single sickness that occurred and felt mom guilt over the fact that I didn’t just immediately know what to do by instinct.
-I felt it when I saw other moms houses were cleaner than mine. How come my house cannot stay clean?
-I felt it when I looked at other mom blogs who had perfect done up hair perfect little baby bump and a super white wall and matching bed stuff. Why couldn’t I look like that?
-So and so’s baby did this first. Why hasn’t mine done that yet? Am I doing something wrong?
The instances are endless. Comment what has given you mom guilt, I want to hear you. This is a judgement free zone my mommin friends.
How to cope with mom guilt
Before 2 under 2
-Have a friend or relative over to play with them.
-Think of all the children in the world who are abandoned and Malnourished, and then look at what your child has.
-Hug and kiss your child the second you feel it. Tell them how you love them so much with a big smile.
-Plan a fun play date. You don’t always have to be a playmate, sometimes other kids are more fun.
-Make them their favorite meal or snack.
-Get them a candy bar and watch their happiness while they eat it. Look, anything to ease the guilt!
With 2 under 2
-When you are sitting there with your newborn and you miss being able to play with your toddler on the floor, think about the opportunity you’re giving her the opportunity to watch somebody else grow up and be their best friend. It’s Priceless.
-Include them in caring for the baby. This could be made into a game. For example I have my oldest throw the dirty diaper in the garbage and she thinks it’s hilarious. (for more “games” we have PM me) Helpful and fun.
-When one is sleeping make sure to overwhelm the other with love. Make good use of your alone time with them.
-Have fun nights when the baby Is asleep, let the toddler stay up past his bed time and watch a movie with you. Snuggle under a blankie. Eat popcorn. Have tickle times.
-When they’re melting down because you can’t hold them at the moment tell them “mommy loves you but baby needs me more” It really helps even if you think they do not understand.
(This was actually advice from my OB who delivered the new baby.)
Remember momma, You are doing the best you can. As long as your baby/babies are fed, changed, napped ( we arent all lucky for that last one) you are giving them what they need to survive. Everything else you do is extra, fun, loving, and more than what millions of babies/toddlers/kids get daily. Now go give your fruit of the wombs big hugs, kisses, and tell them how much mommy loves them. ❣